Thursday 12 August 2010

Martin O Neill

Coming to this story a bit late obviously.


O Neill's resignation at Aston Villa this week has frankly been timed very well: the chances of Villa finishing in a top six place are frankly low, and with Randy Lerner seeming to realise that circumstances do not look especially promising for Villa managing to progress again and reach the Champions League, he has probably made the right decision to leave the club now. He won't get as much money to spend as he has had in the past, frankly the team doesn't look as good as it should for the amount of money spent on it, and the fact that Luke Young refused a move to Liverpool on financial grounds suggests that the wage bill at Villa is all over the place.


It's not to say that O Neill hasn't done a good job at Villa Park; three sixth place finishes (if that's what they've had, I forget; were they not fifth in '08-'09) represents a solid achievement. But the overriding sense will be that Villa's real chance to break into the Champions League came and went in the latter half of the 2008-9 season; well placed ahead of Arsenal midway through the season (one in which Arsenal were largely terrible throughout), Villa's lack of squad depth and O Neill's reluctance to rotate selection meant that they tired and fell away. Last season there was another top four place available with the implosion of Benitez' Liverpool; Spurs and City were both better placed to take advantage of this than Villa, who again tired in the last four months of the season. As City spend more and Liverpool look to at least stabilise, and Spurs may benefit from CL experience and more importantly cash, it seems as if the only way is down for Villa.


O Neill basically seems to have reached an interesting point in his career. It would be churlish to downplay his performance at either Leicester or Celtic, given that he established Leicester as a premiership club after a lengthy period in the second tier, and won two League Cups (then, as now, a reasonable achievement). Celtic were at their lowest point for some time when he took over there, and three league titles and the run to the UEFA Cup final was a fine achievement, although O Neill didn't win a title without Henrik Larsson, and Gordon Strachan arguably equalled his achievements with three championships in four years and two visits to the Champions League knock-out stages. His work at Villa has been probably no less than expected, given the outlay of money and O Neill's reputation, but three successive sixth place finishes was a solid achievement, and in all Martin O Neill can comfortably be described as one of the best British managers of the last twenty years.


On the other hand, O Neill is now surely not going to get the big job that his career often seemed to be leading up to. He just seems to have been passed by; when Celtic met Porto in the 2003 UEFA Cup Final, you would probably have said that if one of the managers on show had gone on to be the next manager of Manchester United, it will be O Neill. Prior to 2004, perhaps O Neill would have been the most likely candidate to succeed Ferguson. I was certainly surprised that year that he didn't come close to getting the job at Liverpool after Houllier left. I guess at the end of the day, O Neill is not quite at the level to get one of the big clubs. In the end, I suppose, we will remember O Neill as a collecter of lesser trophies, and a qualifier for the UEFA Cup, not as a top four manager. It seems sad that he will never get a chance to prove that wrong, but there you go.

Apologies for the fact that this piece is shit, by the way.

RIP Markus Liebherr

Sad news last night as Markus Liebherr, the owner of Southampton FC, passed away from an unspecified illness.

Liebherr effectively saved Southampton from extinction in July 2009 when he purchased us after years of financial mismanagement resulted in the club being relegated from the Championship in administration with a threadbare squad, no manager, a ten point defecit for the next season and serious doubts about the club future. Liebherr, a Swiss billionaire, purchased the club and, in a rare, near unprecendented step, paid up all of its debts in full, rather than by the usual repayment method of an agreed percentage of the amount owed. Liebherr paid off debts in full, and invested an amount of money for new players in the form of equity rather than loans that would be paid back.

News reports this morning suggest that Liebherr will have made money available to ensure Southampton's future continues to look as rosey as it did with him at the helm.

It may seem a little trite to attempt to write a piece in hushed respectful tones where the life of a 60 something year old man is eulogized simply because he bought a football club in the last year of his life. I actually don't know anything about Markus Liebherr other than the above. But without him, the future of Southampton Football Club would have looked remarkably different, and for that, I thank him. Rest In Peace.

Wednesday 11 August 2010

Premiershit Predictions

See what I did there.

So my predictions for the final placings of all teams is as follows:

1 United, 2 Chelsea, 3 City, 4 Arsenal, 5 Liverpool, 6 Spurs, 7 Everton, 8 Villa, 9 Blackburn, 10 Fulham, 11 Stoke, 12 Bolton, 13 Sunderland, 14 West Ham, 15 Birmingham, 16 Newcastle, 17 Wolves, 18 Wigan, 19 West Brom, 20 Blackpool

I reckon maybe at least five right there.

Feel free to join me in the comments with your predictions.

England vs Hungary preview

1) I'm not going to watch this game obviously; however I have watched the build-up with a detatched amusement.

2) Capello has made a valiant attempt to bring in some fresh blood to the squad and freshen it up. However, the selection is quite strange. Exactly how did Peter Crouch and Jermaine Defoe play themselves out of the squad? Defoe scored one goal in two starts at the World Cup. Crouch didn't get a sniff. What has Carlton Cole done to come back into the set-up at Crouch's expense? Likewise Bent and Defoe?

The real selection area that I would question is in central midfield. 4-2-3-1 was THE formation at the World Cup, with almost every team setting up approximately like this. England's formation was supposed to be 4-2-3-1, but they switched to something more approximate to a diamond against Slovenia and Germany. Watching Barry get overrun by Ozil, Muller, Schweinsteiger and Khedira surely shows that the defensive midfield area is the one that England need to develop. Yet the squad is completely devoid of players capable of playing in the "double pivot", excluding Barry.

3) Capello's comment to the press that he doesn't know how he is going to motivate the players after the WC debacle was bizarre. Surely this is the man's job? Part of the reason England were so feted in the first place was Capello's ability to rebuild the confidence of players that had been shattered by their failures under McClaren. Now he himself admits he is unable to motivate them?

4) England will win of course. I imagine that Rooney will score. Wiltshire may even make a sparkling cameo (although has there ever been a more transparent attempt to look progressive? Wiltshire has done absolutely nothing to earn his place in the squad; surely Matthew Taylor or Fabrice Muamba are more deserving based on evidence). But there is a real sense that the England team at this stage is made up of fantastic club players who have not cut it internationally, and now never will due to the mental scars of repeated failure, journeymen who will never quite reach the top level, and callow youth who have done very little to back up the claims made on their behalf. Basically, England stink.

Tuesday 10 August 2010

A New Season

Bowing to much (read two people) pressure, I am going to be continuing my blog throughout the English league season.

The immediate issue that arises here is that I'm technically not going to actually watch very much football: I don't have Sky, and am boycotting ITV football until Chiles, Townsend, Tyldsley, Drury and Beglin are gone. But I'm sure I'll still find ways to write a whole bunch of bullshit.

If anyone can help me make my picture of David Busst bigger, please let me know.

Wednesday 14 July 2010

TV: Final report cards

So I probably forgot a few guys the last time, hopefully this time I'll remember everyone:

Starting with the BBC (incidentally, the viewing figures for the final, apparently, saw BBC peak at 18 million viewers, and ITV1 peak with 3.8 million viewers: are they going to give up do you think? Perhaps they thought that Beggers unexplained absence (read STI or the presenile dementia really kicking it up a notch, or maybe a combination of the two) was the real crushing blow.


Lineker: PASS. And not just because he's Gary Lineker, he did a pretty good job I thought, was fairly quick witted and was excellent when they reminisced about 1990.

Murray: FAIL Norn Iron et al. I don't spose I'll be watching much fucking MOTD2 this year.


Hansen: FAIL Principally because of all this "great hit" bollocks.

Shearer: FAIL And I realised why I didn't want Spain to win: it's because Shearer had picked them before the tournament, and looked so fucking sad when they lost to the Swiss that I started praying they wouldn't even get out the group. I pity Shearer now, rather than despise him.

Dixon: Has been retconned to a FAIL; he's such a fucking hindsight merchant.

Klinsmann: PASS I liked him actually. Excellent talking about Italia 90, and seems more thoughtful than most.

Seedorf: PASS for that short about the ball. Brilliant. He was approaching fail for everything else.

Adebayor: PASS sorry sorry sorry - I know he was fucking awful, but he talked at length about cradling a dying man in his arms; given the standard of the rest of it (Lawro talking about the Boer War?), this was a stunning moment. And his phone went off because his daughter had been born, give him a fucking break. He was shit though, no mistaking that.


Redknapp: FAIL This is my most one-eyed rating, because Redknapp was often the best thing on screen when he was there, but I fucking hate him, so there.

Hodgson: PASS It's Woy, everyone loves Woy. Or at least, they did until he went to Liverpool.

Motson: PASS I liked his studio spots, principally because he droned for 45 seconds rather than 45 minutes. I respect the guy for his knowledge, so enjoyed these segments.

Lawrenson: FAIL Just fuck off with the jokes now.

Bright: FAIL Jesus. Unbelievably dull.

McCarthy: FAIL I like Mick a lot, but not when he's talking. Again, could make you want to switch off a Miley Cyrus porno.

Keown: FAIL A decent pundit made a boring Co-Comm. A shame.

Mowbray: FAIL Completely unsuited to being a number one commentator. I know I have a pop at Tyldo continually for his irritating attempts to convince you that you are watching something Truly Important; but Mowbray is incapable of investing anything with any weight, and as such was a poor choice for the big matches here. If this was his trial as one of the big boys, he failed. And his one-eyedness when it came to England was fucking shameful for a "British" broadcaster.

Pearce: PASS, principally because he made me glad it wasn't Mowbray.

Wilson: FAIL, I had him and Mowbray confused for most of the time. Equally nondescript.


Gabby: PASS or perhaps more accurately SMASH


I think that's 8-11, for a score of -3. I think that's going to be enough to win it, in fact, they did pretty well really. Well done BBC.



ITV


Chiles: FAIL ITV fucked this up majorly, and proved beyond any dispute that Adrian Chiles is not suited to primetime sports broadcasting presentation. He may be a decent hand with light entertainment, he may have a light touch with highlight shows, but he doesn't have what it takes to present the televisual coverage of the World Cup. The experiment failed, and I hope that they simply give Matt Smith a go at the long term anchor shot. He's a pro, and is being wasted wherever he is. They've bought in anchor upon anchor, and they overlook the homegrown pro they have right there. Hopefully when Chiles fucks off to GMTV, they give Smith a crack at the Champions League and see what he can do.


I didn't watch any highlights on ITV, so I have no idea who presented that. Maybe it was my beloved Smith.


Townsend: FAIL I acutally haven't seen the bloke analyse anything for weeks, because I simply don't watch the ITV half-time coverage or build-up. I simply don't believe it's going to add to my understanding or enjoyment of the occasion. Andy played a full part in this. He's played out.


Earle: FAIL Because he got sacked for selling his comp tickets for use in a marketing stunt, basically.


Southgate: PASS I like him, I guess. He's no more or less bland than anyone else, I'm just gently biased.


Keegan: PASS He didn't quit halfway through, after all. That represents a win for Wor Kevin.


Davids: FAIL Absolutely bloody awful, probably the worst token black man out of the lot, I found him actively repellent. Fuck off with yer sponsored clothes.


Radebe: FAIL A bucket of water would have made an equal impression.


Vieira: PASS For the spherical head, mostly. I would have loved it if he had smeared decongestant on his shirt and tie.


Desailly: FAIL You might be Ghanaian by birth mate, but you fucking sold them down the river as soon as you could for a shot at glory with France. So pipe down and fucking stop with the dancing; you weren't patriotic enough to actually represent your fucking country.


Burley: FAIL Often, a co-commentator has to analyse and discuss whether a penalty should be awarded for a challenge in the box. Burley got every single one wrong, without exception. Not good, but fairly consistent with the rest of his job.


Beggers: FAIL Just appalling. Maybe it used to be that I was stupid, rather than that he used to be good.


Coleman: FAIL Just completely inappropriate for television. Completely bloody awful everytime he was on. Dull, monotonous voice spouting cliche after cliche. Terrible choice.


Tyldo: FAIL He won't change, I can see that now. I think, to be honest, I'm just not going to watch football on ITV. I hope they don't get any good matches in the next European Championship.


Drury: FAIL Again, the voice, the mistakes, the terrible sentences ... nothing's changing in a hurry. They've had 12 years with these two behind the mike, and they still think they're worth employing. Just don't watch ITV.

That's everyone I think ... 3-11. They can have a PASS for Smith if he was doing the highlights, for 4-11, and that's -7. So the Corden tiebreak didn't even come into play.

I'd love it if there was to be some sort of shift in the broadcasting of football in this country, and that football programs would feature commentators who add to the pictures, co-commentators giving serious analysis, pundits who focus on tactics and shape, and a starting ethos that just because you are good at football or even management, you will not necessarily be a good pundit. It's probably an impossible dream though. As it is, I don't think I'll bother watching much ITV football again.

Monday 12 July 2010

Awards and all that bollocks

Player of the Tournament

Bastian Schweinsteiger (Germany)

Bastian was pretty much the best central midfielder on show here, and would have improved almost any side at the tournament. Even against Spain, where he was outmatched by Xavi, Xabi and Iniesta, he still raged brilliantly against the dying of the light, getting stuck in and almost waging a one man war at times. His performances against Australia, England and Argentina were superb, especially the latter. A great tournament for a young man who initially promised sporadically as a winger, and now seems completely at home in central midfield.

The runners up were Iniesta, who got better as the tournament went on and deserved to score the winner in the final, and obviously Forlan, who was immense for Uruguay.

Young player of the tournament

Thomas Mueller (Germany)

Could have been either Meuller or Oezil here, Mueller just gets the nod. He looked fairly average to me in the Champions League, but here was exceptional attacking from the right. Decent technique, direct, a good finisher, a good worker and great off the ball movement made Mueller a key part of the German counter-attacking machine.

Runners-up: Oezil, who should have a great future; De Wiel, who I though defended pretty well, and did a decent job on Iniesta 'til he started coming inside a bit more.

Game of the Tournament

England vs Germany

Whilst not in any sense enjoyable at the time, aside from a certain masochistic amusement when the fourth goal went in, this game was by far the best in the tournament: calamitous defending, controversial decisions, great goals, and it should finally send the message to English fans that we are second tier. Perhaps the only disappointment about the game is that Lampard's goal wasn't allowed to stand: a 6-2 defeat might have been even more extraordinary.

Runners up: there aren't many to choose from, really. Urugay vs Ghana was fairly epic, Argentina vs Germany was like England vs Germany without the emotional attachment or drama, Uruguay vs Holland was dramatic but fairly low quality ... the last twenty minutes of Slovakia vs Italy were great.

Goal of the tournament

Fuck it, due to the BBC's bizarre omission of it from their goal of the tournament, it was Bendtner vs Cameroon: a precise howitzer pass from Kjaer, perfect first touch from Rommedahl, a brilliant low cross, finish by the underrated Bendtner (I know he usually looks shit, but the lad's shaping up to be a genuine clutch player at times).

Runners-up: Luis Fabiano vs Chile, where a lovely Kaka pass sent him through, Tevez vs Mexico, a bomb of a shot.

Biggest Disappointment

I don't think Italy or France's campaigns were that unexpected, frankly; so the biggest disappointment must be the form of Wayne Rooney. I have harboured the belief that Rooney's injury at the end of March and too-soon return to action majorly affected his form and led to his terrible performances, but I think some analysis of his ability to cope with the pressure of being England's key man is too much for him is probably necessary; he seemed to shrink under the pressure of hype that he would be capable of leading England to the final or somewhere near. I find the gripes that Rooney should have been played in a lone centre forward role to get the best out of him hilarious at this point: Rooney's touch and feel for the ball and his fitness level were highly questionable, and would probably have been exposed even more as a lone centre forward. Frankly, he was poor, and whilst I'm sure a few good games for United will have the media raving again, I don't know that I will forget this in a hurry.

Team of the Tournament

Obviously this isn't going to be a team with the eleven best players of this tournament in, I'm far too biased against Spain for that ...

Casillas (Spain); Lahm (Germany), Puyol (Spain), Lucio (Brazil). Coentrao (Portugal); Annan (Ghana), Schweinsteiger (Germany); Mueller (Germany), Iniesta (Spain), Villa (Spain); Forlan (Uruguay)

Subs: Eduardo (Portugal), Ramos (Spain), Friedrich (Germany), Van Bronckhorst (Holland), Xavi (Spain), Boateng (Ghana), Ozil (Germany), Sneijder (Holland), Robben (Holland), Suarez (Uruguay), Honda (Japan)

Casillas was wonderful in the knockout stages, Lahm just creeps ahead of Ramos, Lucio survives despite Brazil's capitulation to Holland, Coentrao looks one to watch, I loved Annan and Schweinsteiger, and kept banging on about them. Mueller and Forlan are obvious picks who need no explaining. Villa looked an absolute star playing from the left, and to be honest, Spain should have kept him there throughout the latter stages, and might not have needed extra time in the final.

The World Cup 2010 Final: Holland vs Spain

1) Thank fuck that that's finished.

2) In one sense, I am glad that Holland didn't win after a performance of extraordinary spitefulness and cynicism. However, amidst the opprobrium that will be (rightly) hurled at the Dutch, I thought Spain were poor, creating little from open play until the game became stretched. Despite reading several reports that claim Spain created "many" chances, I thought that Holland had the best three (Robben's two, and Mathijsen) until Fabregas went through on goal. Overall, whilst no-one, not even me, can complain that Spain are the world champions, given that they have basically been beaten twice since the last World Cup (Northern Ireland and USA, if I remember correctly), they are by far the least inspiring that I have seen, and given that they were one of the most positive sides in this tournament, 2010 can't be remembered especially fondly.

3) Robben will probably forever be remembered for his miss on 62 minutes; the Dutch game-plan would have been completely justified had he scored there. Casillas was immense on both one-on-one chances, especially the first as he stayed on his feet for as long as possible, and deserved the lift the cup for this clutch moment.

4) I suppose Webb will end up being praised for his performance, in a way it reminded me of the Battle of Nuremberg that I linked to earlier in the blog; once he had started giving cards (and he did have to, Puyol, Van Bommel and especially De Jong all commited shocking challenges in the first half) it was obvious it would continue.

5) I suppose this match wasn't as bad as West Germany vs Argentina from 1990, and it may have been better than the 1994 final, which I didn't watch. However, it was an atrocious game. I suppose my final thoughts on this game and tournament before I come and wrap up with Player of the Whatever bullshit stuff, are that there are few things that annoy me more than people complaining about the quality of the World Cup as if they deserved a better spectacle. I always come from a position that we are lucky to be able to watch the World Cup at all; and it owes us nothing. Complaining about quality, or it being boring, is frankly absurd: Don't Fucking Watch It Then. Why is it that there are vast numbers of men who have failed to learn the following principle: All World Cups will disappoint you, except two: the first one you watched, and the first one you were old enough to drink excessively or take drugs?

Did I think this was a great World Cup? Of course I fucking didn't. Am I going to complain about it? No I'm fucking not. I've eaten a lot of grilled meat, and drank a lot of beer and wine. I've seen some good matches (fewer then ever before, I think, but there were some), some average matches (a lot of average matches, truth be told) and some shit matches. I finally got the fucking message with England. I occasionally wrote some good blog posts.

A shit World Cup is still a damn sight better than a good anything else.

Thursday 8 July 2010

Spain vs Germany

Instead of match analysis, I'm just going to try to get to the bottom of my views about Spain. Ultimately, I don't like Spain.

I have made no attempt in the blog to hide the fact that I don't like the Spanish national football team. It's not easy to explain why; they are capable of scintillating football that few other teams could equal, I am a fan of football and someone who feels they can appreciate good play, therefore I should like them. The meta-narrative (it cannot be underestimated how important his is in the watching of top-level sport) of the Spanish team is fairly good as well: a team who have bottled it for a long time finally come to terms with their big name players and manage to blend them into a successful unit, at the same time getting rid of their best-known and perhaps most talented player (Raul), and manage to become the opposite of chokers. It's great to see a team change like this one has; at the last World Cup Spain were easily one of the better teams, but they did not have the bottle to perform when it counted. Now they do, and this should be admired. However, I just don't like Spain.

I used to like Spain, back when they bottled big tournaments: I was gutted when they were robbed in South Korea, desperate for them to beat Spain at Euro 2000. But I don't like them now. I sometimes think there's something joyless in their play, and they have never completely taken a team apart in the way that they dismantled Russia twice in the Euros, or the way Germany have gone through teams here. The constant possession means that the Spanish control games, but they are not exciting games, and you knew sitting down to watch Spain vs Paraguay that it was not going to be a pulsating encounter, unless Paraguay managed to take the lead.

And it's not just the fact that Spain are vastly superior to their opponents that make the match dull. I quite warmed to Brazil, who played perhaps the most defensively orientated football in their history. I could claim that I found some of the interplay between Kaka and Robinho sensational, and look at the Luis Fabiano goal against Chile and say "this is why I like watching this Brazil play", but the truth is that the Spain goals against Portugal and Paraguay were no less cutting than Brazil's. Spain have played football at times that is as good as anyone else in the tournament; I just don't like Spain.

I admire the possession football, I really do. In an age of counter attack, where the priority is on defensive solidity and attacking from deep a la Holland or Brazil, or Mourinho's Inter, it is courageous of Spain to attempt to control the game through possession. And they are very good at it: when they take the lead, they win. This has been the case for what 4 years, 3 years? However, whilst when the ball is moved quickly they can slice teams apart, the majority of possession is slow and around midfield, and I cannot profess to finding it exciting. Truth is, I can't be arsed to watch it when I'm drunk. And it's the World Cup, I'm going to be drunk. I might admire it, but I just don't like watching Spain play.

My biggest problem with Spain though, is not something that they can do anything about: it is the fawning fucking media. Sickening broadsheet toadyism, the constant online wanking of tactic nazis, and most of all the BBC; how these bastards have the nerve to present a series of 1-0 wins as genius and a victory for attacking football is beyond me. Simply put, these cunts could make me dislike my own fucking family with five minutes of hindsight based blathering.

So perhaps it is not Spain's fault entirely; they are merely playing technically excellent football that wins matches, and responding to the pressure in a way that decades worth of their countrymen could only dream about. I am basically 97% certain that on Sunday, Spain will lift the World Cup. But while they continue to get a very public media blowjob, they will never earn the most important thing: my heart.

Holland vs Uruguay

1) A strange match, which was fairly rubbish for long stretches yet ended up being pretty exciting.

2) Great goals from van Bronckhorst, Robben and Pereira for Uruguay. Van Bronckhorst in particular hit an absolute screamer, in his penultimate performance. Truth be told, I've alwasy thought Van Bronckhorst was pretty shit, and if he had been Scottish instead of Dutch, would never have made it out of Glasgow. Still, fair play to him, he's getting to go out near the top. The late Uruguayan goal was a lovely finish from the bloke's left foot.

3) Van Bommel got booked at last. I suppose he'll probably be sent off in the final as payment for all his past indiscretions.

4) The Dutch are really not that exciting to watch; I certainly can't remember them having a duller team (2004 and 2006 weren't great, but they played more than this one). They have balance, and they defend solidly, and look dangerous on the counter, for sure, but given the amount of attacking talent, it seems a shame that they don't make more of an impression on games. They actually looked fairly clueless at 1-1, and Sneijder's goal was fairly lucky. Sneijder, to my mind, has actually contributed very little to games apart from goals and assists (I realise that this is a comment which makes me sound like a cretin of the highest order), and of his five credited goals, three have been deflected, with a short range header and a tap-in; I would probably say he is playing at an inferior level to his performances at Euro 2008, where he was sensational. Still, Holland are in the final, so fair play.

5) The Uruguayans simply looked like a team that gave all it had, but it wasn't enough. I wonder if an available Suarez might have made a difference, allowing Forlan to drop deeper as he has to good effect in other games. Still, Forlan has shown a versatility and level of performance that has perhaps surprised the few remaining individuals (principally broadcasters and journalists) who recall him for his time at Manchester United. He has been one of the better forwards on show.