Holland vs Brazil

1) What a strange match. Brazil were mostly untroubled by the Dutch in the first half, before seeming to capitulate in the face of very little. Holland looked far better at keeping the ball and countering once Brazil were down to ten men.

2) The main Dutch weapon in this match seemed to be Robben's ability to elicit free kicks and irritate opponents via cheating. He seemed to enrage Bastos into giving a stream of free kicks away, which led to the first goal, and then drew Melo into a stamp which pretty much guaranteed Holland the win. Melo's complete lack of composure after scoring the own goal was absurd, and earns a bat-shit crazy bastard.

3) Who the fuck did Van Bommel sleep with to avoid a yellow card here?

4) Wesley Sneijder is having a curious tournament: his performance level is not consistently high, in that you don't watch him run the games, but he is delivering key moments and deciding matches. Similar to the Dutch overall, I suppose.

5) The only explanation I can come up with regarding Brazil is that they conceeded the first goal too early. The plan was clearly to sit back and wait for the Dutch to become desperate, and then hit on the counter. Holland started the second half with a bit more snap, but still did not commit too many men forward, meaning Brazil still sat back also. Had Melo not ignored Cesar's call/Cesar had called properly, or whatever happened, Brazil would probably have finished the game off on the counter. Such is life. The way that Brazil fell apart after conceeding though (failing to track Kuyt for the second, Melo's stamp) was absurd for a team that seemed so full of characters. Simply put: I, and others, had predicted Brazil as winners based on the fact that their defence seemed resolute and to be improving through the tournament, and that this impregnability fused with quicksilver attacks would mean that at 1-0 late in the game, they would almost always hold firm, and probably add to their lead. Basically, they were not as impregnable as it seemed.

6) Not a great game then, but a momentous and dramatic one, and that was enough on an afternoon off work.

Italy vs Slovakia

Watched the last twenty minutes of this on ITVsomething this morning before work, so I guess I'm highly qualified to write about it.

1) I cannot believe, can not believe, that an Italy defence conceeded a goal from first phase posession from a throw in. A throw in! What the fuck.

2) Quaglierella (sp?): quick, skilfull, direct, daring ... why on earth did they not use him sooner than this game? A lovely goal as well.

3) They really missed Buffon.

4) Sad to see Cannavaro reduced to that level. He was one of the all time great centre halves, easily the best I've seen. And I saw Andy Linighan. Chiellini looked pretty crappy as well: his one man tour de force against Villa and Torres in Euro 2008 is starting to look the exception rather than the rule.

5) This is by far the worst Italian side I've ever seen, and probably the worst for at least 50 years. They don't really have anyone who can look back at think they did themselves any justice, Quaglierella possibly?

6) A fantastic last twenty odd minutes though, and well played Slovakia: their first World Cup and into the knockout stages.

7) The contretemps in the net after the game is good enough for a bat shit crazy bastards by the way; there haven't been enough of those yet really, hopefully the Uruguayans will start kicking the Skoreans and get some fly-kicks back on Saturday (which, by the way, is both the least and most attractive looking knockout stage day I've ever seen).

Dr Carlos Bilardo

Chainsmoking coach of the 1986 and 1990 Argentina teams, the tactician who got the best out of Maradona and the man who credits himself with inventing the 3-5-2 formation that became so popular after 1986 (although it has it's similarities with catenaccio etc.). Bilardo came up with the best quote of the tournament thus far, after decrying Maradona's promise to streak through Buenos Aires if Argentina won the World Cup "passe":

"I say this: the player who scores our winning goal in the final is free to enter me from behind."

I can't imagine Sir Alf Ramsey's (who was probably called Harold, Sid or Len) trainer in 1966 bending over for Sir Geoff Hurst, but then 1960's Britain was a far more repressed world.

Great World Cup Moments #9

Bit of a weak one this, but there you go.

Rijkaard. Voller.

I got sent to bed after this in 1990; I think my mum didn't want me to watch all the spitting. My dad again seemed to enjoy it though (I think Italia 90 was probably the last time my dad was bothered about football really; he has feigned disinterest ever since). Obviously this always gets played on terrible World Cup clip shows, and people mock Voller's terrible bubble perm and tache. The truth is: Voller is German. What the fuck were you expecting him to look like at the end of the 1980s? Plus whenever anyone looks through their family photos, all the ones taken in the 1980s look like the 1970s, the ones from the 1990s look like the 1980s etc.

When I eventually got to see Frank Rijkaard play in Euro 1992 and on Football Italia it became even more of a shame that he went completely bat-shit crazy and repeatedly spat at Rudi Voller. Rijkaard was a fucking brilliant footballer, one of the finest in his, or indeed any, position of the last 25 years. Equally at home in either penalty box, a dominating defensive midfielder or a "cultured" centre back. A hard bastard who looked like he'd been dragged through a hedge, who made a useful habit of excelling in European cup finals.

I came to quite like Rudi Voller by the end of his career as well. He replaced Papin surprisingly well at Marseille, up front with a young Allen Boksic, and then had a blinding match against Belgium at USA 94, linking up superbly with Klinsi. I always thought it was rather harsh that Voller was dismissed in this match, principally for the crime of being spat at, being pushed, and having his foot trodden on. I don't actually remember Voller doing anything, and it's still not especially clear exactly what he was sent off for.

Like I say, not a good pick, but only two more to go and then we can actually focus on matches and stuff.

Great World Cup Moments #6

On a similar note to the last moment, I give you: Benjamin Massing.

I have happy memories of playing a game called Foul Football at school, based on a fairly simple premise: it was football, but you were allowed to foul. I'm sure I'm not alone amongst my readers in having played something similar, and equally not alone in taking such enjoyment from basically trying to cripple your opponent. Your opponent sprints faster to avoid your tackle, which merely makes it more enjoyable to send him flying.

Benjamin Massing obviously must have enjoyed similar games growing up in Cameroon, since he brought a similar style of play to Italia 90. His foul on Caniggia requires little comment, other than Massing's apparent determination to ensure that Caniggia, who for once in that World Cup (his career? Claudio was a top player, but liked a dive) actually stayed on his feet through two thuggish challenges during his sprint at the defence, will not be able to shrug off his challenge: the challenge is otherwise best described by Alan Pardew.

Fortunately, Massing had finished his suspension by the time Cameroon faced England, and he was able to (absolutely, completely and with no suspicion of play-acting from a resolute English gentleman, who never recieved a yellow card in his whole career) trip Lineker to allow England to equalise in the momentous quarter final match-up.

Great World Cup Moments #5

The clear highlight of the 2006 World Cup was the second round match between the Netherlands and Portugal. England had won an appalling match against Ecuador earlier in the day, and on paper Portugal and Holland would make for an exciting contest. And it did, but perhaps not in quite the manner expected.

The referee for this titanic yellow card battle (a record 16 were dished out) was Valentin Ivanov, who later recieved criticism for his performance. The truth is, there was pretty little that Ivanov could have done. What more can a referee do when it kicks off than issue yellow cards and hope someone will pay attention? No-one did.

The only disappointing thing about the game is that there was no serious foul to remember. Four players were dismissed for 2 bookable offences, but there was nothing from the Guthrie or Shawcross books, aside from a tackle from Boulahrouz that Ronaldo claimed was a deliberate attempt to injure him. You'll have to wait until tomorrow to see a "proper" tackle.

The inherent instability of the Portuguese throughout the Noughties is easy to forget. In Euro 2000, they had about seven players sent off after disputing a penalty awarded against them. Their comical defeat against South Korea featured Joao Pinto capping a distinguished career by punching the referee. They more than contributed to this legendary game. That's the Portugal I want to see: outrageously talented, bat-shit mental.