In theory I watched Brazil v Ivory Coast, but I didn't really bother with it, since I had drunk several cans of lager in the afternoon, so was left sprawled on the sofa. Brazil were alright anyway, and will take some beating in the latter stages; hopefully Holland will raise their game, but I very much doubt it.
I did watch France yesterday, since much like the first SA game, my boss was at a meeting. France were simply atrocious for the first hour, and I'd have thought most of them will be lucky to play internationally again: I don't know that I would want Evra, Abidal or Anelka back in the squad, Henry is clearly done, as is Gallas, Sagna seems to have lost a great deal from his game (did he suffer a bereavement or something?), Gourcuff has shown very little, although he didn't really need to be sent off for what he did, Gignac didn't look up to much, Cisse is nowhere near international standard, Govou is rubbish ... just about the only players to emerge with any credit are Lloris (who gave away a goal yesterday), Diaby (who was also culpable) and Ribery (who has been absurdly overrated, judging by his performances, but at least he seemed to care, and looked dangerous late in the game). Everyone else has simply looked like they don't give a fuck.
Steven Pienaar looked far better playing from the right in this game, the lad up front was fairly menacing, and Tshabalala was by far the best player on the field. Overall though, it's almost impossible to assess how well SA played, since France were so poor.
So Bafana Bafana can Bafuckoff with some credit after this last performance. They've been statistically the worst hosts of all time, although their record of one win, one draw and one defeat is the same as the US in 1994, and Japan in 2002 (is that right, or have I just made that up?), but it was good to see them end with a win, although this was more a case of France losing than anything else.
Showing posts with label Fucking vuvuzelas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fucking vuvuzelas. Show all posts
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Thursday, 17 June 2010
South Africa vs Uruguay
I barely watched this to be honest, I had a beer and the missus made a stirfry, I had to call my mother, it was really fucking dull and I had to feed the baby as well.
Initially I thought the first Forlan goal was pretty good; the deflection deflated the mood somewhat. Suarez did well to get the penalty, although he probably could have just scored instead. The last goal was a bit scrappy. It's fairly clear that the reason SA managed the draw with Mexico was the fact that Mexico defended a high line with slow centre backs against a very quick counter-attacking team. Uruguay's defence is far more competent, and never gave the South African's a sniff. Bafana Bafana don't have the ability to play through anyone, so with the direct ball in behind pretty much shut off, they had fuck all.
And, frankly, good: I'm a fairly modern chap, so I don't make sweeping generalisations like "I fucking hate South Africans". I am prepared to venture the statement "I fucking hate a lot of South Africans". Their unpleasant vowels. Their big fucking mouths. Their deep love for the Rainbow Nation that doesn't entirely explain why they came to London to get work in IT because of the affirmative action back home which makes it hard for them to get jobs, although the affirmative action is only necessary because your white parents, despite making up about 10% of the population, effectively enslaved the remaining 90% and still complain about how they shouldn't have stopped in the first place.
So basically, Bafana Bafuckoff. You can go back to watching your cricket team choke.
(Apologies for perhaps the least sophisticated piece of ill-thought out prejudice since Nick Griffin first realised there might be some votes in attacking all Muslims after twelve of them blew up some buildings somewhere. But I'm a very bitter man, and some saffers have very big fucking mouths).
Initially I thought the first Forlan goal was pretty good; the deflection deflated the mood somewhat. Suarez did well to get the penalty, although he probably could have just scored instead. The last goal was a bit scrappy. It's fairly clear that the reason SA managed the draw with Mexico was the fact that Mexico defended a high line with slow centre backs against a very quick counter-attacking team. Uruguay's defence is far more competent, and never gave the South African's a sniff. Bafana Bafana don't have the ability to play through anyone, so with the direct ball in behind pretty much shut off, they had fuck all.
And, frankly, good: I'm a fairly modern chap, so I don't make sweeping generalisations like "I fucking hate South Africans". I am prepared to venture the statement "I fucking hate a lot of South Africans". Their unpleasant vowels. Their big fucking mouths. Their deep love for the Rainbow Nation that doesn't entirely explain why they came to London to get work in IT because of the affirmative action back home which makes it hard for them to get jobs, although the affirmative action is only necessary because your white parents, despite making up about 10% of the population, effectively enslaved the remaining 90% and still complain about how they shouldn't have stopped in the first place.
So basically, Bafana Bafuckoff. You can go back to watching your cricket team choke.
(Apologies for perhaps the least sophisticated piece of ill-thought out prejudice since Nick Griffin first realised there might be some votes in attacking all Muslims after twelve of them blew up some buildings somewhere. But I'm a very bitter man, and some saffers have very big fucking mouths).
Monday, 14 June 2010
Serbia vs Ghana
Ah the Black Stars of Ghana. Ghana played in two of the better matches of the first round in 2006, vs Italy and vs Czech Republic. They were similarly good to watch here: tough, committed, quick and bold. I particularly enjoyed watching Annan, a tiny little midfielder who made up in reducers what he lacked in height. He made a formidable pairing with Kevin Prince Boateng, who will be looking to add more names to his list of players he "tackled" out of the WC judging by the evidence of his two terrible tackles inside five seconds early in the game.
Ghana left out Muntari and Appiah and still had a bright midfield, with Ayew looking menacing. Whilst Asamoah Gyan destroyed my predictions of him not scoring by burying the wining penalty, he should have had a hat-trick.
Serbia were pretty dire, as I had predicted they would be. There's always an Eastern European team that are talked up out of qualifying, and disappoint when they get through: in this case, as it was 4 years ago, it is Serbia. Nikola Zigic was his usual big shitty self, and the lads on the wings who had been highly spoken of were pretty nondescript.
I enjoyed the vuvuzelas for once, since they did not seem to limit the singing and cheering: there was a decent atmosphere here, and the scenes at the end of the game were great. I enjoyed this game a lot, so it gets a Liquid Football rating.
Ghana left out Muntari and Appiah and still had a bright midfield, with Ayew looking menacing. Whilst Asamoah Gyan destroyed my predictions of him not scoring by burying the wining penalty, he should have had a hat-trick.
Serbia were pretty dire, as I had predicted they would be. There's always an Eastern European team that are talked up out of qualifying, and disappoint when they get through: in this case, as it was 4 years ago, it is Serbia. Nikola Zigic was his usual big shitty self, and the lads on the wings who had been highly spoken of were pretty nondescript.
I enjoyed the vuvuzelas for once, since they did not seem to limit the singing and cheering: there was a decent atmosphere here, and the scenes at the end of the game were great. I enjoyed this game a lot, so it gets a Liquid Football rating.
Friday, 11 June 2010
Opening match: SA 1 Mexico 1
Obviously off to a flyer with my predictions. Decent game.
Great hit by Shabbawalla or whatever his name was. Equally shit defending from South Africa to concede the equaliser. SA looked much better when they pressed harder in the second half, and shut down the Mexican right.
But of course, the main topic of the match is the fucking vuvuzelas. I'm obviously all in favour of exuberance, and it's great that South Africa is so excited about the tournament, but could you not fucking chant instead of that incessant droning? I just hope the vuvufuckingzelas are only played at SA matches, and don't tarnish every fucking day. I get enough droning in the ear from the missus, I don't need it from forty thousand plastic fucking trumpets.
The tournament got off to a good start though. Even Drury wasn't a complete cretin today; I was glad it was him and not Tyldo, who would have tried to say something incredibly meaningful about the poignant opening goal and simply sounded like a vapid, annoying cunt, as always.
Great hit by Shabbawalla or whatever his name was. Equally shit defending from South Africa to concede the equaliser. SA looked much better when they pressed harder in the second half, and shut down the Mexican right.
But of course, the main topic of the match is the fucking vuvuzelas. I'm obviously all in favour of exuberance, and it's great that South Africa is so excited about the tournament, but could you not fucking chant instead of that incessant droning? I just hope the vuvufuckingzelas are only played at SA matches, and don't tarnish every fucking day. I get enough droning in the ear from the missus, I don't need it from forty thousand plastic fucking trumpets.
The tournament got off to a good start though. Even Drury wasn't a complete cretin today; I was glad it was him and not Tyldo, who would have tried to say something incredibly meaningful about the poignant opening goal and simply sounded like a vapid, annoying cunt, as always.
Thursday, 10 June 2010
Predictions
I'll not be posting over the weekend, and am sloping off early tomorrow to watch the opening ceremony, so here are my predictions for the first eight fixtures.
SA vs Mexico
As much as I would enjoy South Africa to get off to a great start (tournaments are improved by a strong host nation), I think Mexico will end up stealing this one. They take an early lead, SA equalise in the second half but Mexico go on to win 2-1
France vs Uruguay
France are traditionally slow starters, Uruguay have won one world cup match since 1970, and that was against South Korea in the last minute. A draw here, and probably a fucking dire one, despite the fact that the match will feature attackers of the calibre of Ribery, Forlan, Anelka, Suarez and Gourcuff (Alvaro Recoba should still be playing as well really, but I imagine he just snorts coke off prozzies nowadays: one of the tragedies of 21st century football). We'll say 0-0, but it might be 1-1
Greece vs South Korea
I was delighted that Greece won Euro 2004, principally because it seemed fairly surreal, and the fact that they beat France and Portugal twice. But if they are anything like they were at Euro 2008, I will be hoping they lose three times. Theofanis Gekas has again managed to score plenty of goals in qualifying: fuck knows how, he was similarly talked up two years ago and proceeded to play like Michael Ricketts. South Korea are always a decent watch; if stereotypes are anything to go by, they will run like the wind, press hard and hope to flick a way through the Greek's slumbering defences, although they may be underpowered in the air. I'll go for 1-0 South Korea out of hope more than expectation. We're going to my parents' for a barbecue for this one, with food from all the day's matches. Hot Dogs indeed.
Argentina vs Nigeria
Argentina will be fairly dull, I reckon, relying on the magic of Messi and Di Maria for penetration. They and Higuain will presumably have too much for Nigeria (and everyone to the quarter final probably), but the fact that they Gabi Heinze will apparently line up at left-back might allow the Nigerians to score a consolation. I am rather hoping that Seba Veron gives a Valderama style masterclass of passing and game management in central midfield, to make some ammends for his disastrous time in England (which is underrated, to be fair), but I doubt it will work later in the tournament. Nigeria may select Olofinjana and Kanu in central midfield though, so this might be Veron's big game. 3-1, Messi will score.
England vs USA
8-0. ROAR. Next.
Slovenia vs Algeria
Is this the first match that dj will miss, allowing his missus to finally watch Thursday's episode of The Good Wife (dj will obviously watch as well; Julianna Margulies is an all time Would Smash)? No. dj is going to be a right cunt at the weekends, not even allowing his baby to watch CBeebies. Slovenia will probably sneak a win, Algeria are supposed to be utterly shite. 1-0
Ghana vs Serbia
Really looking forward to this one; should be the game of the weekend. Ghana will be lacking Absolute Rapist and Midfield Colossus Michael Essien, but Kevin Prince Boateng can at least fulfil the studs up part of his midfield role, if not the drive and hammer right boot. Appiah has been injured for about four years, and may not be the same metronomic passer of four years ago (when he barely misplaced a single pass in the group stage), Muntari seems to have been fairly exposed since his move to Inter, and although Asamoah Gyan is coming off a pretty good year in France, I would be amazed if he scored a goal of any sort here. Serbia have a resolute defence with Ivanovic (who has quietly come one of the best defenders in the Premiership) and Vidic, and are quietly tipped. There have to be matches where the African teams utilise the conditions and the home support though, and I reckon this will be one of them. Ghana will win 2-0 I think.
Germany vs Australia
This is being talked about as Germany's worst team for a while, although I wonder if this talking is being done by anyone who watched Germany play in Euro 2000 or especially Euro 2004, where they were absolutely fucking awful. The absence of Ballack will not help their chances, but Schweinisteiger's new brio as a midfield general will help ease the burden. I'm in two minds about the Ockers: They have Timmy Cahill, which is good (I have a deep seated love of football that involves crosses, knockdowns and lung-busting midfielders; Cahill is all about this style of play, and is not adverse to the rough stuff), but they have Harry Kewell (who will apparently play as a lone centre forward; which would frankly be the most baffling decision of all time, although you'd have said that about Totti at Roma under Spalletti, and that worked), who is a bit of cunt, frankly. I think Australia were lucky to get out of their group four years ago (although heaven forbid I imply that Hiddink is not the absolute best manager ever), will probably finish bottom of the rather challenging group D, and will lose comfortably here. 2-0 sounds about right. I really hope Mario Gomez gets one of them, but probably he won't.
I am hoping to have got one score right, and four results. I won't though, they'll all be wrong. Except for England. Heskey hat-trick. Bosh.
SA vs Mexico
As much as I would enjoy South Africa to get off to a great start (tournaments are improved by a strong host nation), I think Mexico will end up stealing this one. They take an early lead, SA equalise in the second half but Mexico go on to win 2-1
France vs Uruguay
France are traditionally slow starters, Uruguay have won one world cup match since 1970, and that was against South Korea in the last minute. A draw here, and probably a fucking dire one, despite the fact that the match will feature attackers of the calibre of Ribery, Forlan, Anelka, Suarez and Gourcuff (Alvaro Recoba should still be playing as well really, but I imagine he just snorts coke off prozzies nowadays: one of the tragedies of 21st century football). We'll say 0-0, but it might be 1-1
Greece vs South Korea
I was delighted that Greece won Euro 2004, principally because it seemed fairly surreal, and the fact that they beat France and Portugal twice. But if they are anything like they were at Euro 2008, I will be hoping they lose three times. Theofanis Gekas has again managed to score plenty of goals in qualifying: fuck knows how, he was similarly talked up two years ago and proceeded to play like Michael Ricketts. South Korea are always a decent watch; if stereotypes are anything to go by, they will run like the wind, press hard and hope to flick a way through the Greek's slumbering defences, although they may be underpowered in the air. I'll go for 1-0 South Korea out of hope more than expectation. We're going to my parents' for a barbecue for this one, with food from all the day's matches. Hot Dogs indeed.
Argentina vs Nigeria
Argentina will be fairly dull, I reckon, relying on the magic of Messi and Di Maria for penetration. They and Higuain will presumably have too much for Nigeria (and everyone to the quarter final probably), but the fact that they Gabi Heinze will apparently line up at left-back might allow the Nigerians to score a consolation. I am rather hoping that Seba Veron gives a Valderama style masterclass of passing and game management in central midfield, to make some ammends for his disastrous time in England (which is underrated, to be fair), but I doubt it will work later in the tournament. Nigeria may select Olofinjana and Kanu in central midfield though, so this might be Veron's big game. 3-1, Messi will score.
England vs USA
8-0. ROAR. Next.
Slovenia vs Algeria
Is this the first match that dj will miss, allowing his missus to finally watch Thursday's episode of The Good Wife (dj will obviously watch as well; Julianna Margulies is an all time Would Smash)? No. dj is going to be a right cunt at the weekends, not even allowing his baby to watch CBeebies. Slovenia will probably sneak a win, Algeria are supposed to be utterly shite. 1-0
Ghana vs Serbia
Really looking forward to this one; should be the game of the weekend. Ghana will be lacking Absolute Rapist and Midfield Colossus Michael Essien, but Kevin Prince Boateng can at least fulfil the studs up part of his midfield role, if not the drive and hammer right boot. Appiah has been injured for about four years, and may not be the same metronomic passer of four years ago (when he barely misplaced a single pass in the group stage), Muntari seems to have been fairly exposed since his move to Inter, and although Asamoah Gyan is coming off a pretty good year in France, I would be amazed if he scored a goal of any sort here. Serbia have a resolute defence with Ivanovic (who has quietly come one of the best defenders in the Premiership) and Vidic, and are quietly tipped. There have to be matches where the African teams utilise the conditions and the home support though, and I reckon this will be one of them. Ghana will win 2-0 I think.
Germany vs Australia
This is being talked about as Germany's worst team for a while, although I wonder if this talking is being done by anyone who watched Germany play in Euro 2000 or especially Euro 2004, where they were absolutely fucking awful. The absence of Ballack will not help their chances, but Schweinisteiger's new brio as a midfield general will help ease the burden. I'm in two minds about the Ockers: They have Timmy Cahill, which is good (I have a deep seated love of football that involves crosses, knockdowns and lung-busting midfielders; Cahill is all about this style of play, and is not adverse to the rough stuff), but they have Harry Kewell (who will apparently play as a lone centre forward; which would frankly be the most baffling decision of all time, although you'd have said that about Totti at Roma under Spalletti, and that worked), who is a bit of cunt, frankly. I think Australia were lucky to get out of their group four years ago (although heaven forbid I imply that Hiddink is not the absolute best manager ever), will probably finish bottom of the rather challenging group D, and will lose comfortably here. 2-0 sounds about right. I really hope Mario Gomez gets one of them, but probably he won't.
I am hoping to have got one score right, and four results. I won't though, they'll all be wrong. Except for England. Heskey hat-trick. Bosh.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
